Polar Knight vs Snowplow Man
Description Snow Day vs Shovel Knight! These two frigid villains will compete in a snow-holds-barred fight to the finish! Introduction Wiz: Some warriors wield weapons. Others wield martial arts. But these combatants-'' '''Loud crashing sound' Boomstick: Hey hey hey! Don't start without me! Wiz: Boomstick? Why are you late? And what was that sound? Boomstick: I got caught in the snow storm... don't worry about the sound. It was nothing. Fire whistles blare in the background Boomstick: Aaaaanyway.... let's get into this. Wiz: R-Right... well, tonight we have a battle between the ones who thrive in the elements of the Winter. Boomstick: Roger Stubblefield, the Snowplow Man! Wiz: And Polar Knight, the icy warrior of the Order of No Quarter. Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick! Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle! Fire truck and ambulance sirens blow loudly in the background Snowplow Man Wiz: A snow day, the happiest kind of day for children. The freedom, the relief, the... snow. Boomstick: It would be perfect if not for one very angry man named Roger Stubblefield. Otherwise known as the Snowplow Man. Hal Brandston: No matter how brave you thought you were, just hearing his name could make you wish you lived in Florida. To adults, he's just some creepy guy with a plough named Darling Clementine, but to us he's a snow day assassin. Wiz: Roger is a cruel, sadistic, angry man. He is feared and reviled by children, and for good reason Boomstick: Not only does he plow the roads to make it so kids have to go to school, he actively tries to run them over, attack them, and even chase them down. Wiz: Roger has no sense of morality, acting solely off his sadism and anger. He also... may or may not be a cannibal Roger is shown wiping ketchup off of a child for his french fries, despite being convinced that it was blood. Boomstick: Okay. Who decided letting this guy operate heavy machinery was a good idea? Wiz: Whoever they were, they need to be fired! Stubblefield is clearly not fit to be a functioning member of society. Let alone the operator of a dangerous vehicle! Boomstick: Speaking of that vehicle, Snowplow Man drives a plow named Darling Clementine. This diesel-powered beauty can toss cars around and shred wood into nothing without being slowed down. Wiz: Its tire chains provide it with traction on icy surfaces, and are said to be made from the braces of children who didn't get out of his way Boomstick: Even offroad in a foot of snow, Clementine is fast enough to chase down fleeing children Wiz: But that's not all Roger has up his sleeve! He also has his pet bird, Trudy. Boomstick: While Trudy might not seem very useful, she has used her sharp claws and beak to protect herself from people before. Wiz: But Trudy also proves to be Roger's greatest weakness. Boomstick: If something happens to Trudy, Roger turns into a sobbing mess, and will do anything to get her back Wiz: Let's not forget that without his plow, Snowplow Man is just an ordinary human. One who was overpowered and defeated by an army of children. Boomstick: And one who lost control of his vehicle and crashed just because he got hit with a snowball. Wiz: Even so, Stubblefield has earned his place as the feared "Snow Day Assassin", Snowplow Man. Roger is shown driving in with a young boy tied to the front of his plow. Polar Knight Wiz: The Order of No Quarter, a group of knights with one shared goal: protect the Enchantress. Boomstick: Some... we're better than others King Knight is shown being knocked out by Shovel Knight Wiz: But the strongest among them was the bearded master of shovelry, Polar Knight. Boomstick: Polar Knight is a hulking, powerful viking look-alike with a real strict code of honor. Wiz: A man with a great respect for strength, Polar Knight chose to side with the Enchantress and her immense power. '' '''Boomstick: And when we say he has a thing for power, we mean it. Every decision this guy makes is just for what he believes to be more powerful. Or to punish the weak for being weak.' Wiz: That's not to say Polar Knight is dumb. He's actually rather intelligent in battle. Boomstick: Speaking of which, Polar Knight is no slouch when it comes to combat! Especially with the help of his giant bladed snow shovel. Wiz: With this snow shovel, Polar Knight can wield the snow around him to his advantage. Boomstick: He can create huge snowballs to send at his foes, call down icicles from the sky, launch snow from his shovel and dig to uncover deadly spikes! Wiz: He also possesses great skill with his shovel, able to use it as an offensive tool or to counter flurries of attacks from foes. Boomstick: And he's really freaking strong, able to launch huge snowballs around like nothing or jump high into the air to perform a massively strong shovel drop. Or stomp the earth so hard it shakes and makes huge icicles fall. Wiz: Although, that is also one of Polar Knight's greatest downfalls. He relies heavily on his bulk and strength to protect him from harm. And he can be rather careless with his own safety. Boomstick: And also, he's really freaking stubborn. Wiz: That's right! Polar Knight's obsession with strong opponents can get him in loads of trouble at times. And his stubbornness can turn into recklessness if things get out of hand. Boomstick: But of course, you'd have to be strong enough to face him first. Polar Knight: Hmph... pass the salt... Polar Knight prepares to battle Plague Knight. Who do you think would win? Snowplow Man Polar Knight Which character do you like more? Snowplow Man Polar Knight Who would you rather have clearing your street? Snowplow Man Polar Knight Death Battle Outside the village, Polar Knight is seen shoveling snow away from a path. He had just finished clearing part of it away when he suddenly heard a loud scream in the distance. Little kid: Run! It's the Snowplow Man! A young boy runs down the path, followed by a massive machine that sped through, knocking a huge pile of snow onto Polar Knight as it sped by after the child. The machine was gaining on the boy, and seemed like it was about to reach him. The man in the driving seat of the machine sat laughing and eating a bag of french fries. His loyal bird Trudy sat in the seat next to him. The boy yelled out one more time, feeling the backs of his ankles smack against the plow. The driver leaned his head out the window. Snowplow Man: Ahahahaha! I've got you now, you little twerp! I'll teach you not to throw snowballs at me! The driver cackled as he slammed on the gas, gaining immediately on his young victim. The kid yelled out in terror one more time as he tripped and fell forward. Just before the kid hit the ground, he was pulled aside by a large metal object. He landed safely on his side in a snow bank, next to a large bearded figure. Polar Knight: Get to the village, kid. Quickly. The boy stood, running away toward the village as the Snowplow Man made a turn to face the child's savior. His head poked out the side window with an annoyed look on his face. Snowplow Man: Well well... looks like I have another frozen flapjack to make today! The frigid knight was unamused, and stood sternly as he replied Polar Knight: You are a pathetic excuse for a man. Hiding behind a machine. Attacking defenceless children... He raised his shovel, wind blowing back his beard. The driver of the machine just grinned, returning to his seat and revving his engine. Polar Knight: A weakling like you does not deserve to live. FIGHT! Roger slammed on the gas, charging directly at Polar Knight. The knight kicked a large snowball at his opponent, which just hit the plow and broke apart. Clementine still headed straight toward the bearded warrior, who continued to launch ineffective snowballs at his opponent. Just before he was hit by the machine, he leapt into the air. Snowplow Man: Son of a...! He looked up out his window, seeing the hulking knight go high into the air, then come rushing back down onto the roof of the plow truck with a metallic thud. The blade of the shovel poked in through the ceiling of the vehicle. Snowplow Man: Hey! Hey hey! This ain't normal! Polar Knight: You will not hide from me in this machine. Stubblefield slammed his brakes, causing Polar Knight to fall off of the plow into the snow. He picks himself up, brushing the snow off himself. Stubblefield stared at him through the windshield, terrified. Snowplow Man: W-wait... how the hell did you do that? What are you!?! Polar Knight grunts, stepping closer to the plow in front of him and readying his shovel. Snowplow Man: No! Stay away from me! Stubblefield shifts into reverse, and slams on the gas, fleeing from Polar Knight's reach. The knight simply chases after him, shovel angled down into the snow. Polar Knight: Coward! Your weakness knows no bounds! The man chases down the machine, running around its side and swinging his shovel. A wave of snow was flung in through the plow's window, covering Roger and his bird. Stubblefield, stunned by the snow, careened directly into a large boulder, crashing into it with a sputter as his truck stalled. Polar Knight: Hmph... The knight walked up to the massive machine, reaching in through the window Polar Knight: Now to finish you... What the bearded warrior grabbed was not the man driving the plow, but a large, black, brown and white bird. He pulled it out of the snow pile, looking at it for a moment. Polar Knight: Hmm...? The bird, Trudy, flew out of Polar Knight's grip, clawing and pecking at his face. Polar Knight stumbled back, dropping his shovel and trying to swat away the angered bird. Just then, the door of the plow flew open, smashing Polar Knight in the face and knocking him to the ground. Snow poured from the opened door, and two boots hit the ground. Snowplow Man: Trudy! Sweetie? The bird flew back to her owner's shoulder, who greeted her with a quick few pets. Snowplow Man: There we are! Who's my little sweetie? Polar Knight groaned as he started to stand up, holding his temple and looking dazed. The plow driver walked up to him, kicking him back to the ground. Snowplow Man: So much for all that big talk, eh? Snowplow Man poured out his box of fries on Polar Knight, then walked back to his truck laughing. Polar Knight reached around in the snow, still dazed. The plow's engine roared back to life, and the machine backed away from the boulder. It backed further and further until it stopped. The driver leaned out the window, watching his opponent search in the snow. Roger laughed once more before taunting his seemingly helpless foe. Snowplow Man: Ha! Look at you! Thought you could outdo me and ol' Clementine, did you? Polar Knight stood, holding his shovel once again. He held it forward in the snow, grunting in annoyance. That plow door had caught him off guard. But he was back in action now. Snowplow Man: Get ready, tough guy! Stubblefield sat back in his seat, foot on the gas. He gripped the wheel, and Polar Knight gripped the handle of his shovel. Snowplow Man: You're about to get snowed in! Roger stepped on the gas, charging at his opponent full-speed. The knight didn't move an inch. The truck careened closer and closer, and the knight braced himself. Just as the truck drew close, Polar Knight swung his shovel upward, revealing a patch of icy spikes. The truck drove straight over it, popping all of its tires. Polar Knight, however, did not have enough time to avoid the fast-moving hunk of metal coming at him. Roger yelled out in fear as he lost control, his speeding truck begin to sway and swerve. Polar Knight was still pressed tightly against the plow, stunned from the impact. In a panic, Stubblefield used his emergency brake and tried to correct his turn. But it was too late, and the truck spun out before flipping sideways. One last sputter came forth before the engine died. For a moment, everything was silent. Then the door of the plow opened. And a man dragged himself out. He jumped down from the plow, holding a broken arm. His hat was missing, and his bird was nowhere to be seen. Snowplow Man: No... Clementine!! The driver stared in horror at his damaged plow, falling to his knees. Nearby, a large figure slowly started to move, coughing out blood and groaning. His clothes were torn, revealing deep gashes. His helmet was dented, and his shovel was lost in a mound of snow. Polar Knight: Hmph... I should give you credit... I didn't think you'd survive that... Stubblefield jumped to his feet, shocked. Snowplow Man: What? You? How did that not kill you!?! Polar Knight stood, trailing red through the soft snow beneath him. He took slow steps toward Roger, showing no expression. Snowplow Man grabbed a cracked exhaust pipe from his truck, breaking it off and walking toward Polar Knight with it. Snowplow Man: I'll bill you for the damages... Stubblefield swung his pipe at Polar Knight, but the warrior casually grabbed the pipe, pulling it from his hand. Snowplow Man: Oh shi-'' Polar Knight landed a hard punch to Stubblefield's face, almost knocking him out right there. Snowplow Man fell to his back, squirming in pain. The bulky knight placed his foot on Roger's chest. '''Polar Knight: Killing someone as weak as you... would be an act of mercy...' Stubblefield put his hands on the knight's boot, grinning with his mangled teeth. Snowplow Man: So does that mean I'm free to go? Polar Knight: Nope. Polar Knight stomped down, crushing Stubblefield's chest in with a single, quick motion. The Snowplow Man coughed up blood, gagging and squirming. Then he went limp. Polar Knight stepped back, wiping his foot off in the snow. He walked back to the snow mound, reaching in and pulling out his snow shovel. Polar Knight: The bitter cold claims you... KO! Trudy lands on the shoulder of Polar Knight as he buries Stubblefield's body in snow. Results Boomstick: Wow... that was ice cold... Wiz: Stubblefield's plow helped him put up quite a fight and his ruthlessness made him more lethal. But in the end, he was completely outclassed. Boomstick: Roger was basically powerless on his own, so he was forced to rely on Clementine to do the brute work Wiz: But when compared to the sheer strength of Polar Knight, even that massive machine eventually fell short. Boomstick: While a common industrial snowplow has to be strong enough to move tons of heavy snow, Polar Knight is known for being a force of nature. Wiz: not only is he able to toss around multiple dense balls of snow about the same size as Shovel Knight with absolute ease, he has shown to be able to cause small tremors when putting his power into it. Boomstick: Not to mention those nasty spike traps. Those were more than enough to blow out the plow's tires and render it basically unusable. Wiz: And with his one trump card out of commission, Roger stood no chance against the bearded knight Boomstick: Yeah. Once that truck was down, this fight was a total stomp. Wiz: The winner is the Polar Knight Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:'Villain vs. Villain' Themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2017